parenting – Tony Tam

My advice to you, dear daugther

Dear daughter, For your 18th birthday, and on my 48th year, I wish to write down something for you to refer back to in the next 30 years. I wish to tell you a few simple thoughts to help you to build a life for yourself that 30 years later, you would look back and […]

by Tony Tam

Identity as a father

For the last 18 years, my identity is primarily a father and a software engineer. My daughter is going to be 18 years old in a few days and I wanted to remind myself that a large part of my identity is not lost, but changed. In order for her to be a fully formed […]

by Tony Tam

Talk About Your Frustrations

Dear future self: Today, you were frustrated at your teenage daughter that she was 10 minutes later in leaving the house for high school. Even though she is the only one affected, you felt that it reflected on your personal value to be early or on time. You expressed to your daughter that you were […]

by Tony Tam

Saying It Out Loud

This week I learned something new about myself. I learned that what I’m thinking in my head, when not explicitly told to those I love, is not necessarily known to those love ones. This seems like a very obviously point, but I often make this mistake. I think this could be that I […]

by Tony Tam

C: Will I hate you when I’m a teenager?

The original post was in 2005 when C. was 5 years old. A few days ago, C asked “Dad, will I hate you as a teenager?” I was a bit caught off guard. I told C that it’s possible that when kids grow into their teenage years, their hormones could change, and they will be testing the […]

by Tony Tam

30 Minutes Of Focus Time For Children And Adults

I spent Christmas night and the day after Christmas with my parents and my sister’s 2 kids. A 2 year old girl “C”. and 4 year old boy “M”. We all spent the morning filled with sounds of the TV and the new Nintendo games the kids got for Christmas. Thirty minutes before we are […]

by Tony Tam

Binary Numbers: Teaching Computer Programming to Kids: Lesson 1

This morning Cate and I were eating crepes with hazelnut chocolate and she asked me what this means? “10001001” I think she must have seen it somewhere on a piece of paper or an advertisement. I’ve always found it difficult to talk to her about what my job as a software engineer is, so I […]

by Tony Tam

dreaming of father+daughter team

I have this fantasy of playing badminton with C. as a mixed doubles team. The C.+Tony dynamic duo! She is 12 years old, flying at the birdie in front of the net. Father Tony jumping and smashing from the back. We are both enjoying executing what we’ve been training to do during our weekly badminton training […]

by Tony Tam

No coffee for you Dad !!!

Kate and I got into an argument Monday morning, I think it was about wearing clothes or maybe I was slow in getting up in the morning. She wrote me a note “No Coffee For You Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I asked her why I don’t get any coffee and she said K : “Because when you are […]