fatherhood, parenting

My advice to you, dear daugther

Dear daughter, For your 18th birthday, and on my 48th year, I wish to write down something for you to refer back to in the next 30 years. I wish to tell you a few simple thoughts to help you to build a life for yourself that 30 years later, you would look back and […]

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fatherhood, parenting

Identity as a father

For the last 18 years, my identity is primarily a father and a software engineer.  My daughter is going to be 18 years old in a few days and I wanted to remind myself that a large part of my identity is not lost, but changed. In order for her to be a fully formed […]

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parenting

Talk About Your Frustrations

Dear future self: Today, you were frustrated at your teenage daughter that she was 10 minutes later in leaving the house for high school. Even though she is the only one affected, you felt that it reflected on your personal value to be early or on time. You expressed to your daughter that you were […]

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fatherhood, parenting

Saying It Out Loud

This week I learned something new about myself.    I learned that what I’m thinking in my head,  when not explicitly told to those I love,  is not necessarily known to those love ones. This seems like a very obviously point,  but I often make this mistake.   I think this could be that I […]

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parenting

C: Will I hate you when I’m a teenager?

The original post was in 2005 when C. was 5 years old. A few days ago, C asked “Dad, will I hate you as a teenager?” I was a bit caught off guard.  I told C that it’s possible that when kids grow into their teenage years, their hormones could change, and they will be testing the […]

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parenting

30 Minutes Of Focus Time For Children And Adults

I spent Christmas night and the day after Christmas with my parents and my sister’s 2 kids. A 2 year old girl “C”. and 4 year old boy “M”. We all spent the morning filled with sounds of the TV and the new Nintendo games the kids got for Christmas. Thirty minutes before we are […]

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badminton, fatherhood, parenting

dreaming of father+daughter team

I have this fantasy of playing badminton with C. as a mixed doubles team. The C.+Tony dynamic duo! She is 12 years old, flying at the birdie in front of the net. Father Tony jumping and smashing from the back. We are both enjoying executing what we’ve been training to do during our weekly badminton training […]

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coffee, parenting

No coffee for you Dad !!!

Kate and I got into an argument Monday morning, I think it was about wearing clothes or maybe I was slow in getting up in the morning. She wrote me a note “No Coffee For You Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” I asked her why I don’t get any coffee and she said K : “Because when you are […]

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parenting

Kate’s sunday conversations

Some random bits of conversation between Kate and me K: “Dad, are you going to die before me?” me: “uhhh, I think so.” K: “but not for a long long long long time right?” me: “I hope so.” K: “Dad, even when you are angry, you still love me right?” me: “I’ll always love you” […]

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parenting

The Good And The So So

Kate arrived yesterday, her mom brought her over to Paris while traveling towards eastern Europe.  Kate was excited as was I to be reunited after a month. The good. We spent the day visiting a few food places around Rue Lepic, and I was introducing Kate to the vendors. The good The vendor selling tarts […]

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parenting

Does Parenthood Make You Happy?

I’ve been listening to an audio book, Stumbling on Happiness The author Daniel Gilbert is really funny and convincing in the thoroughness of his research.  He believes that humans are the only animals who can think about the future and have an imagination. I still do not know the secret to happiness, but after listening […]

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parenting

Dance performance this Sunday

I have been taking Kate to her dance lessons ever since she was 2 1/2.  When she first started, she refused to participate and we spend nearly 2 months just sitting and watching. How time has flown.  She was in a dance performance 2 years before and she frozed on stage.  She skipped last year’s […]

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parenting

Kate: the first year: Elimination/potty training

Kate is 4 years old now, I’m ready to finally share with the world about how Angie and I decided to raise her.  Our choices and methods are extreme and it caused us a lot of isolation with other parents, but it was all worth it. When Kate was 3 month old, Angie and I […]

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parenting

How to discipline a 4 year old

We are traveling in Paris with kate, my 4 year old daughter, I need some advice. 1) She likes to ask ‘why’ endlessly I can’t get a moment of peace. And she would either ask the same ‘why’ question to something I’ve already answer or she would follow an answer with another ‘why’ 2) She […]

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