Am I Chinese or American?

A little background: I immigrated to the US when I was 10 years old from mainland China.  I spent 2 years living in Chinatown where I was in a ESL program and struggled for a long time with English and obviously everything else that required English.  I think it wasn’t until 7th grade before I had enough command of the English languarge to learn math and science like all the other kids.

My parents spoke Chinese, we watched Chinese soap operas, Chinese movies, we shopped in Chinatown every weekend.  I was your bonafide Chinese kid.

I did well in  middle school, did well at in high school and eventually went to Berkeley.  I loved loved Berkeley and learned what I needed to in the CS degree to make myself useful.  After college, I basically landed 2 jobs.  I pretty much sold my life to both jobs at SGI and Yahoo and was rewarded financially as well as respect and trust of both companies.

So here it is.. I do well in this American society, I own my home here,  I feel comfortable everywhere in the American society, I was married here, I raised my child here… why do I long to be among Chinese people?  The few times I was in Taiwan, Hong Kong and China, I feel l ike I’m home.   There is something missing here for me, this is not my home.. this is not my people.. sigh.. sometimes I feel like an intruder here.